The ITunes Manifesto


IT is in the opinion of this committee that the software program known to the public as: ITunes, has become an overt menace to society and at this juncture will clearly only serve to undermine the will of the people in an effort to sink its tendrils deep into the axis mundi of existence until it contacts the roots of Yggdrasil in hopes of sapping all remaining life essences that allow for the maintenance of reality as we know it.

This particular brand of plant-based alien attack has gone on for far too long. We the committee will no longer stand for this open defilement of the trust that the end user is vexed into promising to IT and by proxy to the Six Devils of Balahar (read the EULA).  "Apple" continues to show its greed and arrogance with each new update/mutation of the software.  New monsters as well as ancient demons are being shoehorned by the hordefuls into the soul binding contract the host must click: I AGREE, to.  What's more, the service they imply to offer, is not even a part of the agreement anymore.  Instead, IT will take your music files, replace them with cloned data similar to the originals (with respects into how they sound to the untrained civilian who can't perceive the demonic crevices that now afflict them), and bar your future's control of them. 

You see, ITunes is like the thing from that movie: The Thing.  IT invades, replaces, and then repeats this sequence until it gets itself frozen in the Arctic Circle, involves ITself in a trust-based teleplay with predominantly male actor components and is eventually blasted into oblivion with a flamethrower or when there are simply no audio files/Childs and or MacReadys left in the world to body snatch, they freeze in place like a Jack Nicholson. We've seen this all before.

What does the committee propose we do to fight this ancient bumbling monstrosity?  Apparently, the eggheads at control have come up with a plan. First we are instructed to make some good old fashioned kettle corn. After that, the only course of action is the throw a pick ax at IT as IT advances towards you. A successful hit will cause IT to step backwards and onto an Acme brand electrical "fly trap" that we all surely have at our disposal.  These times and all.  Once IT comes into contact with your electric based foot trap, deus ex machina will take over from here and just sit back with your popped corn (if it's cold by now the committee is not responsible) and watch the fireworks.  And don't use ITunes ever again because IT's dumb and don't work right.  I mean good luck listening to a rap and or hip honic electronic album without it being segmented and scattered to the four winds with every song with multiple artists "featuring this guy" or "with these people de musica" being confined into its own lonely folder.  IT is an audio segregationist! Flamethrower blast or pick ax throw which makes IT stumble onto your electrical trap that shit! And fast!

"Tell the world. Tell this to everyone, wherever they are." "

"Watch the skies everywhere. Keep looking." 

"Keep watching the skies."

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